So I was wasting time the other day, poking around on Youtube, not going to class, you know, what I like to call "Thursday" when I decided to turn on the TV. The screen flickered on and what I beheld was both my worst fear and guiltiest pleasure as a TV viewer: the Los Angeles low-speed car chase.

I don't know what it is about Angelenos that makes the people on the news think we want our favorite programs interrupted to give us "breaking news" about someone in an '89 Accord driving around in circles on flat tires… …but damn, they sure were spot on! Watching these things is like witnessing a bad car accident (sometimes literally)–you can't take your eyes away.

The only way to enjoy these mini-dramas, however, is to tune out the anchors, who pick this time to show their $40,000 a year stint in the USC Journalism grad program was worthless. They give us vital facts, such as the color of the hoopty being chased and who is the mayor of the town the criminals are cruising through. Seriously, do we really need to know if there "appears to be a Raiders bumper sticker" in the back window?

Sooner or later, you'll get to the turning point of the chase where the anchors say the driver appears to be a Hispanic male in his early 20s. From there it's just a hop, skip and a jump to the inevitable slow-down, the "pan out" (in case things turn ugly) and the surrender of the suspects. Just like that, it's over as quickly as it began. OK, so it's not so quick. It's usually more like an hour and a half of your life you're not getting back, but that's beside the point. 

This is what reality TV was meant to be, people. If I were to change one thing, though, I'd axe the reporters and sub them out for Leonardo DiCaprio and Meryl Streep. Or whoever's at the Playhouse this week. Now that's drama.

–John Calderon