Happy 24 hours A.B. (After Bush). To celebrate this momentous occasion, I’ve decided to get all of you guys a little present. Actually, it’s a big present. See, Aretha Franklin even put a gargantuan bow on her head to signify just how awesome she is. You bitches better enjoy this. It’s not easy to get her in a box.

There are many, many, many things that make me love this video.

1) Aretha reminds me of this old woman I once saw in Westwood Village shopping at CVS listening to her Walkman SCREAMING along to the lyrics. Some of the words she gets, others are just old lady noises. She doesn’t know and/or care that her belting is off-key and possibly irritating; she’s just having a good time and that’s all that matters.

2) At 1:10 in this video, the lady in the audience looks like she just noticed that giant bow on Aretha’s head. Yeah, yeah, it’s probably just that she realized she was on TV, but that’s what I like to pretend.

3) Doesn’t it sound like Aretha told some ho to “shut up” at 2:18? She looked down at some peasant beneath her, told him or her to close the pie hole, and just KEPT IT MOVIN’. She may sound awful but that’s what you call showmanship.

4) JUST LOOK AT THAT BOW.

I hope you all know what I want for my birthday this year. Don’t disappoint me.

–J