If you don’t have a Twitter, you are missing out if only for the great words and wisdom showering upon us mere mortals from one Phoenix Sun named Shaquille O’Neal, a man once referred to (by himself) as “The Big Aristotle”. Here are just a few gems from the past week. The severe spelling and grammar violations of the following tweets do not necessarily reflect the views of UCLAradio.com:

#5 “David stern said i dnt mind sounding trite, what does that word mean, any scholars out there“ 11:34 AM Feb 14th from txt

#4 “Just leavn lebrons party, i have no voice, can u hear this , ………………. C i told u , no voice, lol” 1:37 AM Feb 15th from txt

#3 “TODAY WAS MY FIRST DAY IN COURT, I WAS NERVUS, TRAFFIC COURT [for tweeding], SLOW DOWN TWEEPLE” 4:05 AM Feb 7th from web

#2 “Ok i admit it i at performance enhancing frosted flakes 2 yrs ago, lol” 3:18 AM Feb 10th from txt

…and last but most definitely not least…

#1 “Allen iverson cut off his braids, dam hes cute, lol,“ 2:07 PM Feb 14th from txt

–J