As discussed on the sports segment during Tuesday night’s News Show on UCLA Radio, Tiger Woods did not have the best Thanksgiving last week, causing quite a stir in the sports world after crashing his Cadillac into a fire-hydrant and then a tree at two in the morning.

Woods’ mastery of privacy and public appearance has been as impressive as his legendary long-game. But this issue raises a few burning questions. What I want to know is this:

Why in the world are you driving a Cadillac!? This is a man who, according to Forbes, makes over $100 million per year and is on his way to the Billionaire Club.  So why is he parading around Orlando in an American SUV?

C’mon Eldrick. A Bentley or Rolls is more befitting for such a regal figure. Queen Elizabeth is chauffeured around England in a customized Bentley limo and you’re driving yourself around in an Escalade? That’s the real mystery here.

Perhaps Tiger felt guilty about driving a Cadillac after a long relationship with GM. What else could explain violently crashing a giant SUV into not one, but two items right next to your house?

Internal combustion choice aside, there are other legitimate questions to be asked. Namely, why Woods doesn’t see that his silence is such a bad play here? Yes, he’s been private, but he’s also the guy who hugged his dad in a tearful embrace after his first Masters, then showed so much emotion after Earl’s death, and literally gritted it out last year in the US Open with a torn ACL. To pretend that his accident was not in the bizarro world-realm of strange is a slight to us all. Even Michael Scott explained how he injured his foot on his George Foreman.

That’s what is so wrong about his decision to play the privacy card. We’ve all driven. We’ve all driven late. We’ve all driven out of our driveway. What in the world could have caused someone to leave home in the middle of the night on Thanksgiving, tear down the street, crash into two obstructions and pass out on a neighbor’s lawn with a busted rear-window? (His wife supposedly freed him from the car by smashing the window with a golf club, but this has not been verified.)

Woods is correct in that it is a private matter. It is certainly understandable for him to ask people to stop speculating. But if this was only a car accident, then why not simply say in his release statement, “Here’s what happened…I fell asleep,” or “I was mad I didn’t win any majors this year,” or “GM wanted me to destroy a Cadillac,” or “I’m Tiger Woods…I should have a driver!”?

All of the above would be acceptable explanations. Talk shows would make jokes, and this story would fade away as a one-liner.

Instead, due to his silence, it has opened a vicious can of speculation-worms. Who can blame sports fans? History has shown that sometimes, the cleaner the facade, the darker the secrets.

Talk, Tiger, talk. Oh, and buy some nicer wheels.

Editor’s Note:Tiger Woods released a statement this morning about the incident:

“I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.”

The full text of Tiger’s statement can be found here (courtesy of BBC News).