The 10 Worst Lyrics from the Lou Reed/Metallica Album
Monday, October 31st, 2011
For those of you who were blissfully unaware, former Velvet Underground frontman and eternally overrated lyricist Lou Reed teamed up with thrash metal legends/lawsuit enthusiasts Metallica to record an album. When I first heard this news, I figured that the resulting music would probably suck, but held out some hope that the collaboration would somehow inspire everyone involved to raise their game and make an album worth listening to…
Later I learned that the album was “inspired by German expressionist writer Frank Wedekind’s plays Earth Spirit and Pandora’s Box, which tell the story of a young abused dancer’s life and relationships”, and knew that it was going to suck, but hopefully wouldn’t be a gigantic embarrassment to all involved. Then “The View” was released, and it was the single least enjoyable piece of music I’ve heard all year (Yes, worse than this). The only reason I listened to the entire song was to make sure it didn’t end with Lou Reed saying “Just kidding! We’ll release the real single next week.”
Now the inevitable has happened, and you can listen to Lulu in its entirety on the internet. My original plan was to listen to the whole album and live-blog the experience. Then I realized that this stupid thing is 87 minutes long and scrapped that idea. Instead, I looked at the accompanying lyrics pages and decided to highlight some of the, er, lowlights. What follows are some of Lou Reed’s worst lyrics, in the order they appear on the album.


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