Cover photo credit: Rina Mintz
@turtlewithhat is Izzy Perez and Emma Fuente, the “it couple” for chronically online lesbians. As high school sweethearts that reconnected in adulthood, they’ve gained over a million followers (affectionately called “turds”) on TikTok for both their saccharine relationship content as well as their comedic skits and deeply ironic sense of humor. Last week, I got to chat with Izzy and Emma (virtually, from Izzy’s Brooklyn apartment) to pick their brains on their shift to creating on YouTube, their filmmaking aspirations, family vloggers, and more.
—
Dylan Simmons: A defining feature of your guys’ content is, obviously, your relationship. Could I get the Cliff Notes of how you guys met in high school and reconnected?
Emma Fuente: So basically, we are from the same town in Jersey. We went to the same high school, and we were in the same biology class, and our mutual friend wanted to make a film. So she recruited Izzy and I, and from that day on, we started working on films, our own projects, working in the library on our own, and just brainstorming a bunch of things. The project that our friend initially wanted to do eventually just fell off. It just didn’t happen. But that didn’t mean Izzy and I stopped at all. We just continued going to the library, working on random projects; on the weekends, we would just do random short films. They were always very abstract. We would show it to our families, and they would be like, “This doesn’t make any sense.”
Izzy Perez: We kept making horror films.
Emma: We were kind of obsessed with horror, and we would watch movies together, and we just really connected over that.
Izzy: We pretty much stayed friends since then.
Emma: Yeah, we stayed friends. There [were] a few years we drifted apart, just because I feel like that is natural. Especially after high school; you go to college different places, you’re in different locations… But then we did reconnect, and yeah, since then… Since we reconnected, we’ve been doing our thing [laughs].
Dylan: Where did you guys go to college? Did you both major in film?
Izzy: We both majored in film. I went to NYU Tisch.
Emma: And I went to Rhode Island School of Design.
—
Dylan: You guys have talked about the kind of universal struggle of coming to terms with your sexuality while growing up. How do you think being together and meeting each other has influenced how you both perceive your own sexuality?
Izzy: That’s a really good question. I mean, I’ve known Emma in such a growing pains time in your life where you’re really uncomfortable with the person that you are, and there’s a lot of insecurity there. I think having her as my friend during that time in my life probably made me feel a lot better about the person I was becoming and my sexuality, because she was like me, and I perceived her as really cool. I always idolized Emma a lot, because I thought [she was] really creative and artistic, and I wanted to be able to be as creative as that. I think that she made me feel like, “If she’s gay, and she’s this cool, then it’s fine if I’m gay,” because I thought [she was] really cool in my head. And at the time, I was like, gay is, like, not cool.
Dylan: Woah. Are you sure you want that on the record?
Izzy: [laughs] I had that internalized homophobia a bit. But I think Emma was somebody who showed me that that’s not even necessarily true, if not the opposite. I really needed somebody like that in my life to continue growing in that and to be the person that I am. Because if not, I think I would have just been stunted a bit more. Obviously, I was bound to come out as a gay woman eventually, but I think it just would have set me back a little bit. So I think [Emma] really helped me to grow as a person faster and with a lot more acceptance for myself.
Emma: I totally agree. I think that being friends with Izzy did make me much more comfortable to be myself. Izzy was someone that I was able to just open up to.
Izzy: There’s a lot of people around you in that time period that are going to pressure you into this box of heterosexuality, and that’s just, like, the norm. So unless you found a friend or somebody that was going to get you out of that space, you’ll stay in it for much longer than you probably want to.
Emma: And then I just feel like there was a relief. There was no pressure to be in that box.
Izzy: That’s probably why we connected so well, and we became friends so quickly, just because — whether or not we were aware of it — we were helping each other get out of that.
Emma: I agree.
Dylan: That definitely makes sense. I feel like it can be kind of isolating when you first come out, especially as a lesbian. It is kind of an isolating identity, because you’re isolating yourself from like half of the dating population, and also kind of the universal girlhood experiences of, like, crushing on guys. So I feel like it is so important to just have that representation in your own life to look up to.
Izzy: Yeah, I didn’t even come out originally as lesbian. I came out as bisexual, because that kind of felt like a lighter blow, you know, to people who might care. But I guess just as I got older, going into my own adult life and how I want my life to be, I just was like, “Okay, enough with this bisexual shtick.”
Dylan: I know a lot of your younger queer fans look up to you as positive role models, both in terms of having a very healthy and happy relationship, but also just being comfortable and open in your queerness. How does that feel to be sort of a role model or a positive representation for young queer kids?
Emma: It’s a big surprise. Of course, we were always creating things together, and we would always post it privately. But I honestly never thought we would be some sort of representation online.
Izzy: Right, I actually agree with you. I’m honored that, somehow, that came to what it is, and people see us as that, and it makes me really happy. It also kind of makes me scared, because I also know that I’m still just learning as I go, and I don’t feel like I’m this complete person just yet in terms of how to do everything and how to express my sexuality, keep myself in a healthy relationship, balance my work– I’m getting there, I’m just like, not there. But I think, comparatively to our younger audience, we do fit that more put-together mold, just because we’ve been together for a while, and I think we do have a really healthy relationship. But we’ve learned that as we’ve gone; I don’t think it’s always been perfect.
Emma: For sure.
Izzy: It’s an honor, it’s a little bit scary, but I think that it just encourages me to want to continue making content like we do. Because I didn’t have anybody like that, necessarily, queer influencers to look up to when I was younger, and I think it would have made me feel a little less isolated. Like I said, I’m lucky to have met Emma to get me out of that headspace. But, if somebody can’t be as fortunate to find a friend or somebody that pulls you out of it, you could always go online. There’s always the internet, and you could always find people that make you feel more comfortable. And I hope that’s what we’re doing for some people.
Emma: Obviously, we’re just people, and we are still growing and learning everything, but I’m happy to be an example that you can do it. Like, you could be gay, and be lesbian, and just weird, and live your life like that. Because I know, especially now, it could be really scary, like things are getting really scary. And I think just having these real-life examples is important.
—
Dylan: Given the second Trump administration and all these crackdowns on queer rights and expression, do you think that’s changed your guys’ content at all, or changed how you feel about your content?
Izzy: I do feel an internal shift in my brain in terms of our responsibility and how much more I feel like we need to be putting out. But more so, how much more to the best that we can, because it is just Emma and I working on all of our content. We run this whole thing, and as we grow, I still want to make sure that we’re just as connected to the audience that we created. So it makes us feel more responsible. It’s stressful, but it’s what we want to do. I feel like we have this responsibility to do it — and no one placed that on me but myself — but I feel there’s a responsibility to remind our audience that we’re listening to them and we’re always here for everyone. I don’t know how much we can do other than create the content to just give people an escape, but it is important. It makes me feel like I don’t want to not be posting, or make anyone feel like we have abandoned posting content, because too many people at this point — and we love them for it — have told us that they rely on our content as this escape, and as something that they look forward to. And I care about all those people so much, I just would feel like I’m abandoning thousands of our little children.
Dylan: Your little turds.
Izzy & Emma: Our little turds.
Emma: I do think it is motivating. It is very motivating. I just want to keep going, just because it’s like, yeah, I’m going to be gay, and I’m going to be vocal, and I’m going to stand up for what I believe in.
Izzy: It’s like a small form of protest as well.
Dylan: Absolutely.
Izzy: Like, you’re not going to stop us from making our content, you’re not going to stop people from watching our content, and that’s just how it is. You can’t just erase people that exist from this country, it’s just not how it works, and, yeah, it makes me pissed off. Honestly, it’s interesting, because we’re simultaneously dealing with those things ourself, and how we feel about the state of the country and the Trump administration, and it’s really upsetting. And I think we have to turn that off for a second when we make our content, because we’re not trying to just go on YouTube and rant about how we feel about it. We are just trying to just create like a distraction almost, because, I don’t know, I think distractions are necessary sometimes.
Emma: It’s so frustrating, but as long as we have our platform, we are going to be vocal and continue to support and just do whatever we can.
Dylan: That’s such an interesting dynamic, and I think it’s so so admirable, too, that you guys have that care for your community. Especially on YouTube, it’s even stronger because [your audience] is somewhat smaller, and that’s your real dedicated fans. I was just scrolling through the comments yesterday and seeing how many people were saying that this brightened their day, and they look forward to your videos, and your representation is so important. I totally understand how that could be both motivating but also a responsibility that’s a little daunting. When I think about queer representation, it’s totally different seeing a random musician come out as gay, versus having YouTubers that are queer and that openly talk about their experience, and it feels like you’re sitting down with them every week– it’s parasocial. Which, again, is positive in terms of representation, but kind of negative for you guys, because then it does really feel like, “Oh, these people do feel so attached to us.” It’s like, you do feel that responsibility. It’s kind of like a double-edged sword, I imagine.
Izzy: It is a bit, but it’s inevitable. I think that it’s a double-edged sword, in that people create this relationship with us. And that’s very natural, because we are these personalities online–
Emma: I mean, I had that with YouTubers when I was younger.
Izzy: Yeah, I had that, too! I’m still parasocial with people I watch. It just happens. I think that the difference between a musician or celebrity saying they’re queer — it’s very exciting, because more representation — but I guess we’re kind of showing our lives a bit more, so it’s a little bit different. But yeah, I guess it’s just a part of the job. I’m still getting used to it, because it’s very new, seeing people have this connection with us.
—
Dylan: You guys do come off as a very healthy and happy relationship, but I know you’ve also talked about kind of having your fair share of struggles with long distance and stuff like that. I am also curious about the dynamic of being a romantic couple but also a creative and professional duo, and how you manage that work–life balance. What are some of the lessons you’ve learned through having these potential stressors on your relationship?
Emma: I think we do value privacy a lot. Because there’s a relationship that we want to share online, and it’s all this creative energy, and it’s all of the work and the videos we want to put out there. And then there’s another side to our relationship that is just us as a couple. We keep a lot of aspects private so that it just feels like it’s just for us two.
Izzy: Yeah, I feel like our relationship is very different than what is online, and I think that that’s probably for the best.
Emma: It’s not completely different, but it’s pretty different.
Izzy: It’s pretty different. What we show is our relationship in the sense that it’s the creative component of our relationship, and it’s the product of the creative side of our relationship. But I think the more intimate [side], more just how we act to our friends and our social life, is probably not on screen.
Emma: A lot of [our videos] are like little projects that we think about and that we create. It’s like, yeah, that is us doing the project. But it’s for that project. It’s not how we act off-screen, if that makes sense.
Izzy: I will say, I think the familiar part of on-screen versus off-screen is that Emma and I are, at the core, pretty much constantly just having fun and messing with each other in our relationship. I think that that’s the part that people probably see, is [the] “your partner is your friend” kind of thing. And I do see Emma as one of my best friends, so I feel like that’s seen on screen, and that’s what people see as like the healthy relationship: they love each other, they love hanging out with each other, they can have fun with each other. And I think that’s an important message. I do think that you should be able to be best friends with your partner. I think that’s what makes a healthy relationship. And the only reason I know that we were able to do that is because, like we said, we met in high school, and we were friends for majority of our relationship before dating. So I think that that’s why people kind of see that.
Dylan: Yeah, I think that is such an important dynamic. It’s kind of interesting; I feel like you guys are almost playing caricatures of yourselves, because there is truth in there, but you’re doing sketches, you’re doing bits, you’re doing costumes — it’s obviously not 100% authentic.
Dylan: How do you think the dynamic of creating content and working together professionally has impacted your relationship?
Izzy: It’s had its ups and downs, for sure.
Emma: We have so many big ideas and plans, and it is just us two, and figuring out scheduling, and budgeting…
Izzy: It’s a lot.
Emma: The really good thing about it is that we’re always learning, and it feels really good to be doing new things all the time. But I do think, since it is us two, it’s a little difficult, but I still really, really, really enjoy it.
Izzy: Me, too.
Emma: I think it’s such a special thing that we’re able to do.
Izzy: The one thing that we came out of long distance with was a lot of work done on our communication. We literally say everything on our mind. Everything’s valid. We don’t want to compromise our relationship for content — it wouldn’t be worth it. That’s the dark side of content, when you start integrating it so much in your life, and then your life becomes your content. I think that’s why we like the caricature boundary, where we can just kind of have fun and it’s less us.
Emma: It’s like the result of our creative ideas, not necessarily just our lives.
Dylan: That totally makes sense. I was thinking of the dynamic of family vlogs, too, where there’s no dividing line between what’s content and what’s real, you know? It’s like, where do you draw that line between what’s relationship and what’s content? And how do you keep your brains from mixing those up?
Izzy: You can’t! I think it causes resentment. I think that’s such a breach of your child’s privacy.
Dylan: Same. I think it’s definitely hard to draw that line. It’s like, your relationship just becomes 100% monetized, and it’s like just a content relationship. Imagine having that relationship with your parent! That’s so unhealthy.
Izzy: It’s horrible! You lose sight of reality.
Dylan: I didn’t even think about it that way, but it makes total sense why you guys would gravitate towards everything being project-based. It’s not just like, “Let’s turn on the camera and pretend it’s not there and be normal.”
—
Dylan: How does the TikTok ban come into play with your YouTube content? Do you feel more pressure to switch to YouTube? Or do you feel like this was a natural evolution of your content, and it just happens to be coming as the ban is impending?
Emma: We’ve always wanted to do YouTube, it’s just that we were long distance. And I think it was just the timing was almost correct for us to start transitioning to YouTube and start being more serious about YouTube. I think that it was such a good exercise in just being flexible in terms of our work and just evolving, and it was such a learning process. And I do think it is very rewarding. I feel much closer with our YouTube community rather than our TikTok community.
Izzy: It’s definitely more intimate. It just feels like the beginning of something. We started the YouTube channel a little bit before the initial TikTok ban, I think like three months before it or something. So we had already started trying to transition into more regular YouTube content, but then when the initial ban came around, yeah, it was scary. It’s just scary for people like us, where we started on TikTok, and we felt like we hadn’t fully gotten our audience to get excited about our YouTube channel or prove to them yet that we were committing so much time and energy into it. It was scary, because all I was thinking was “I just wish we had more time to tell all these people who love us on TikTok that they could watch us somewhere else after the platform is potentially gone.” But now that it’s happening again, I’ve just come to terms with the fact that not everybody on TikTok wants to watch long-form content, and that’s okay. They like the quickness of it. That’s the appeal of TikTok to begin with. And I’m really happy with our YouTube channel as it is right now, because, like we said, it feels so intimate, and it’s so rewarding.
—
Dylan: I’m curious, what are you guys liking about the shift to long-form content? How does it feel different from your TikTok content? Do you feel that it might be more creatively fulfilling? Because I feel like I’ve kind of seen you guys implement more cinematic elements into some of your vlogs.
Emma: For sure! We have a lot of fun with YouTube. There’s so much freedom.
Izzy: We love it so much, because it feels like we are releasing little films, in a way. They’re a pretty loose definition of film, but it’s so rewarding because we prepare it, film it, edit the whole thing the two of us and then we put it out, and we see how people react. And usually people think that they’re funny, so that’s good.
Emma: I feel like we are just slowly cracking ourselves open to show people how kind of strange and weird we can think. And I feel so lucky to be able to do this, because we’re able to just continually be working on something creative, and something fun, and something we get excited about. I feel like it is such a fulfilling process.
Izzy: Yeah. I was just thinking about TikTok again. I feel like the saddest thing is just knowing that we started there and built our community on there, so that’s why we were so upset when they were trying to stop it for the first time. That was our platform to just show people like you could be weird ass lesbians, and that’s where we started it. And them erasing all that, and destroying all these small businesses that are using [TikTok] as advertising, just is another slap in the face from a government that does not care about its people.
—
Dylan: I feel like your comedy includes a lot of satire and niche internet references. Who are you drawing inspiration from for your comedy or your internet type of humor?
Emma: I would say I’m definitely chronically online, but I know many other people that are more chronically online, do you know what I mean?
Izzy: I know what you mean. I feel like I’m on my phone all the time, but I weirdly feel like I’m not picking up on some of these, like, more popular references and stuff that would inspire our humor. I think half of the humor of our YouTube channel is Emma and I’s dynamic and how different our personalities are. I feel like that’s what people think is funny sometimes. Most of the time [Emma is] saying something weird and then I’m reacting to it, or I’m saying something weird and [she’s] reacting to it, and that’s the funny part.
Emma: Well, Izzy won class clown in high school. She’s always been pretty funny. Always making me laugh.
Izzy: But we have our inspirations, like other YouTube channels that we are always feeling inspired by. We love Sinjin Drowning and all of that niche bubble of YouTubers that kind of do similar things like gaming and showing their sense of humor, showing their dynamic. There’s a lot of duos.
Emma: I think a lot of movies, too, and shows.
Izzy: We’re obsessed with Nathan Fielder, all of his shows and that type of situational humor where you kind of make people a little bit uncomfortable and feel awkward, but it’s funny to watch. All of that combined is what our YouTube channel brings: just watching a bunch of YouTubers, being on TikTok a lot, being naturally awkward, and Emma and I’s dynamic.
—
Dylan: Would you guys describe yourselves as chronically online growing up? What kind of internet circles did you grow up in?
Emma: Yeah, I was.
Izzy: Oh, you were. You were way more than me.
Emma: I was just watching a lot of vlog-type content; Joey Graceffa, I watched a lot of the British YouTubers like Zoella, and I was on Tumblr. I kind of was a little bit scene.
Izzy: I was on YouTube a lot, but I literally only strictly watched Minecraft “Let’s Play”s, or PrankvsPrank. I was obsessed with them for some reason.
—
Dylan: Shifting gears a little bit to filmmaking– obviously you guys studied film, that’s your background, that’s how you met, you’re clearly very passionate about it. So I’m wondering, what are your future aspirations in filmmaking? Where do you see yourself in filmmaking? Or are there any secret projects in the works right now?
Emma: I wish we had a secret project.
Izzy: I mean, we are almost finished with Emma’s thesis film, Girl Dinner, which we wanted to premiere in the city, and you could buy a ticket to watch it screened. That’s something we’re really excited for, and it would make us happy [if] people came to see that film and submit it to festivals and stuff. But beyond that, I feel like we’re at such a standstill right now, because all of our time is being put into making our two YouTube videos a week. And because it’s just us right now, and we’re just getting started on it, I feel like we have almost no free time to write. I mean, we have an idea for a longer feature script. We just need to work on it more and actually create it. I just feel like we’re having a hard time balancing our content life with our creative, more serious passion– more serious in terms of, like, wanting to be filmmakers one day. I think our YouTube helps us be creative, but it’s not necessarily, like, script writing and stuff like that.
Emma: Right now we’re just in a mindset where we kind of fell into this social media thing, and we are just kind of taking it and running with it for now. But I think for the future, in our minds, we always have that end goal of eventually making a film together and eventually writing and/or directing a film. And personally, I would love to just make an indie film.
Izzy: Me, too. Like low budget.
Emma: Yeah, it does not need to be Hollywood at all. It doesn’t need all of that big industry stuff. I think if we were able to just to make a gay film, and something that we are passionate about, some story that we create, that would just be amazing. And I think in the end, in the back of our brains, we are working towards that with this whole social media thing. We’re meeting so many creative people.
Izzy: True, I mean it gives us opportunity to open a bunch of doors to meet people. As dumb as it sounds every time I say this, it does give you some kind of validity when you’re some kind of figure online, versus trying to get into the film industry with no leverage and no connection. I’ve worked on productions before, and the one thing that I’ve learned is not a single soul is going to get me into the film industry except for Emma and I working to get ourselves into the film industry because of how much of a bubble it is. Making an indie film is a different story, but it’s still a bubble. It’s such a weird industry to try to get into, because you just need to meet the right person at the right time to help you. I think being online helps our case a bit, at least.
Emma: I think we just need to be able to advocate for ourselves. And in a way, I believe that to make a good film, you do need to have life experiences. And I think [in] this period of our life, we are experiencing so much and we’re having all these opportunities to hear stories from people all over the world. We’re just absorbing all these new ways of life, and we are consuming a lot of content and media and movies — it’s almost like we are in our absorption era. We’re trying to get all of this so that we can create something in the future.
Izzy: It’s on the back burner, for sure.
—
Dylan: Do you have any particular films, genres, or filmmakers that you feel like would inspire your future work?
Emma: I’m so bad at this question.
Izzy: We have bad memory when it comes to directors and stuff — film school always made me like a phony. But one of my favorite romance sci-fi films is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I also love the film You Can Live Forever. I just want to make something like that, because I’m obsessed with that film. It’s just so simple, but it’s just so good to me.
Emma: I think that the general shift into a more campy, out-there approach to film is really inspiring. I enjoy watching a theatrical performance. But then again, I do like subtleties, and I like slower films that just hit inside your heart and you don’t realize it.
Izzy: You like Moulin Rouge!, or Being John Malkovich.
Emma: Like, what’s a campy movie?
Izzy: Bottoms!
Emma: Oh, yeah.
Izzy: And Jennifer’s Body. Like that vibe. Booksmart, stuff like that.
Dylan: That makes sense for your guys’ sense of humor. It’s comedic, but also like serious topics and love.
Izzy: Yeah, I do like that vibe. The dream is to make something of a similar category; you know, funny, but also it’s a little bit more serious.
Emma: But also, one other dream we have is to be in a really bad movie. We don’t act, but we would be acting–
Izzy: But like in a bad way.
Emma: In a very, very bad way.
Izzy: Kind of like Cameron Dallas’s movie Expelled. Or like, Noah Beck’s movie Sideline, or whatever it’s called (Sidelined: The QB and Me). I want to be in a film like that.
Emma: Like, not even just bad, just a little corny, a little cheesy.
—
Dylan: Can you guys give me your Letterboxd top four [favorite films]?
Izzy: Spirited Away, Eternal Sunshine [of the Spotless Mind], Zombieland, and Portrait of a Lady on Fire.
Emma: Jennifer’s Body, The Watermelon Woman, La haine, The Cats of Mirikitani.
Dylan: Do you want to share your Letterboxd?
Izzy: Mine’s @izzyperez00.
Emma: @emmafuente.
—
Dylan: So, at UCLA Radio, all of our radio hosts have a DJ name. Off the dome, what would your DJ names be?
Emma: DJ Onion Feet.
Izzy: DJ Stray Dog.
Dylan: Ooh, that’s good.
Emma: Can I change mine?
Izzy: No, you’re DJ Onion Feet.
Emma: I don’t know why I said that!
—
Dylan: Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Izzy: Not really, just that I love the turds. That’s my official statement. Forever grateful for them.
Emma: Forever grateful.
—
Check out turtlewithhat on YouTube!
